I remember my cousin Stacey telling me about Heaven and
Hell. She told me I would go to Hell if I didn't "get saved." Hell sounded pretty bad, so I decided to choose, Heaven.
So I went to Church with Stacey Sunday and "got saved."
I knew that when I died, I would go to Heaven.
We began going to Church as a family when I was around
8. For years I went to Church, and considered myself to be "saved."
I was a "good girl" at Church and at home, but at
school I was just like everyone else at Church. I was horrible hypocrite. I never got involved with drugs,sex, gangs, or anything
like that. I was just a mean person. I had a bad attitude and I cared little for others.
Moving to Gastonia was a huge change in my life. I had
gone to the same school with the same people since 3rd grade, so I knew everyone and was pretty popular. It hurt to transfer
to a place where I knew no one and no one wanted to know me.
Over the course of 3 years I suffered from depression and
mild schizophrenia. Doctors put me on medication, but I only got worse. I was in and out of the psychiatric ward at least
once a month for 3 consecutive months. I was hospitalized 5 times in 2 years.
The last time I was at the hospital, I remember just giving
up and saying "Lord! I'm sick of doing things my way. I want to live life your way..." I just sat in my hospital room and
cried out to the Lord all the pain and hurt I had inside.
When I left the hospital it took me about three more years
to try and figure out why I was there in the first place. I now know. I was never truly saved. Yeah, I knew all the Bible
stories, sat in Church about 3 times a week. I knew Jesus but I didn't know Jesus. I had a head knowledge of who Jesus was,
but there was nothing in my heart for Him.
When I was discharge the last time (from the ward) they
told me I would need medication and outpatient counseling. After two weeks, I stopped taking my medicine, an I have yet to
go to a Counselor. God healed me. He decided that He didn't want this "thorn" to stay in my flesh, so He took it away. I no
longer hear voices. I get sad, but not depressed.
I accepted Jesus and He is continuing to do great thing
in my life. I just had to submit to Him and His will. My life is not my own, it all belongs to Him. I've been serving the
Lord faithfully for about a year now (that's how long I've been a Christian). I have a different "thorn" that I pray will
get taken away. But my "thorn" keeps me level headed. It keeps me from getting proud. I realize that I'm not perfect and that
Jesus still loves me anyway.
That's what makes God God. He can look past all the things
we've done. When we accept Jesus and repent of our sins, He no longer sees our sin. When He looks at us He sees Jesus. I thank
God that He sent Jesus down to die for my sins. I violated God's law and He forgave me.
Want to get saved? Go to http://www.needgod.com.