It's been almost a month since I've written. Things have dramatically changed for the better. I feel God so much in my life. I just feel like I want to do something for Him. But what?
On the downside I don't get to talk to Mr. Lytton as much as I used to. I miss talking to him cause he seems like the only one who can really understand what I'm going through. I'm thinking about becoming friends with Mrs. Starks, another Christian teacher. Mr. Lytton is too popular and well liked for me to talk to alone. I feel like Kristin is attracted to him a lot more than she lets on...It's just a feeling.
I don't feel attracted to him in a romantic way. I guess it's because he's easier to identify with on a friend level. He's the kind of guy you wouldn't want to get romantic feelings for because you value a platonic friendship more. Like me and Lance.
Me and Lance have a strange friendship. We're close and I love him like a brother. After school we walk around holding hands and people are always wondering if we go out or not. It's hilarious to me. Lance and I were never romantically involved. We valued friendship too much to take it further. Although I do feel back because before he revealed he was gay, he was close to me and people thought we went out. A friend of his asked me if I liked Lance and wanted to go with him. I said no because I value his friendship way to much to go any further.
I'm going to start writing a poetry book of my emotions and stuff.I need a hobby. Rahmcel wrote me a note talking about people though I was "too religious" and how he tried to be well rounded and not talk about Jesus all the time. But I'm not in a religion.
Christianity is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. When you're in a relationship you talk about that person, read notes they've written you (The Bible) and tell others about that person. What's wrong about that?
On Valentine's Day Pedro bought me a card and made me a copy of the new Israel and New Breed CD. I like Pedro, but I think he is a little too crazy about me. I feel something for another guy. I can't have them both.
Matt (real name Matthias, not Matthew) is the other guy I like. The only problem is he's close to 10 years older than me. He's a Christian and I can talk to him about Jesus, God, Bible, whatever. It's neat because he knows so much. He's so cute! He wants to be a Youth Pastor. Right now he just hangs around the church and helps out when needed. He likes sports, mainly baseball. He was irritated when he didn't make the college team. I told him not to worry. He said maybe it was a sign he needed to help out more in the Body (of Christ). I told him maybe. When I'm alone with him I tend to get really shy. I feel like he sees right through me. Like he knows me on the most intimate levels. He just "gets" me.
I don't know how he feels about me. He looks at me with adoration, like you would a little sister. But he does tend to get physically close to me at times. His girlfriend, Denise surprisingly looks a little like me (according to his Mom and brother). I don't think so.
So you see I'm crazy about Matt and I just "like" Pedro. I think Rahmeel is good-looking and Marcus is just unnecessary temptation. Not even really temptation. Just irritation.
Speaking of Matt, Mr. Lytton is talking about a Bible class for next year. I hope and pray we get it. Things are going by fast. The writing test is Tuesday. I'm ready to get this over with.